Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Overhead at the Post Office

Post Office Worker: I'm sorry ma'am. You'll need to wrap that box because it was previously used to ship alcohol. It is against postal service policy to ship alcohol boxes uncovered.

Lady With Smoker's Hack and Voice: Oh no. It's for my two-year-old granddaughter. All it actually has inside is plastic dinosaurs. You know boxes are hard to find. I had a hard time finding this one.

At this point I picture this lady, cigarette dangling from her lip, rummaging through the discarded boxes behind her local grocery store and finally settling on one with the Jack Daniels logo prominently displayed. Perfect! Next I imagine the perplexed look on her daughter-in-law's face as little Lindsey rips open the brown paper covering on the mysterious box, to see that it appears to hold a shipment of hard liquor. I also can't help pondering on how many plastic dinosaurs one could actually fit in a box big enough to ship bottles of alcohol. If they're small dinos, that little girl is in for quite a treat! If they're anything like those hard plastic Pokemon figures that Garrett has, her mother will wish that box had actually held its original contents after she steps on them in the dark a few times.

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