Don't Try This at Home

Today I scared the crap out of myself trying something new. I decided that, in the spirit of my new frugality, I would color my own hair. Things I got for my trouble:

Hair that is a subtly different shade than it used to be. I chickened out and didn't wait the full 25 minutes for the color to set. The bright side is that people won't be shocked by the huge difference they don't see.

Most of my springy little gray hairs are gone. One or two still remain, although how I missed them, I am not sure. Again, what could be more authentic than a few gray strands?

Nose and eyes full of ammonia. Trust me on this, during the rising phase you don't want any of that water to run over your eyes and/or nose. And if it does, just keep rinsing. Don't attempt to flush it with your hands. They have ammonia on them too.

A giant crick in my neck. Half way through my panicky rinse cycle my neck went into an excruciating Charlie horse. This did not add to the home spa treatment flavor of the process and necessitated my frantic massaging of the area while my head dripped brownish water into the sink.

A great boost of energy from adrenalin. Another alarming moment arose when I got into the shower to rinse out the conditioner that I applied after the coloring phase. As I eased the tangles out of my hair with my fingers, whilst still massaging my neck, large chunks of hair began detaching themselves from my head. Apparently that was the result of shampooing and blow drying my hair once already, earlier that morning. At least that's what I keep telling myself. Stay tuned as I learn where to shop for wigs.