Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Power of Staying Positive

When you go through a tough break-up sometimes the easiest thing to do is sink into the misery of the situation. Let's face it. Sometimes it's flat out necessary! Did you know that stress hormones are released in tears? Too much moping is bad though because moping begets more moping. So, I've been putting the power of positive thinking to work. How am I succeeding?

You know, not so badly. When I want to call and say "I miss you", I remind myself of the setback I will inflict on my emotional recovery and chose a better activity. Go for a run, take Luke for a walk, write, read the newspaper, call a friend. When my mind goes groping for the answers to the "why" questions I know I'll never get, I take inventory of the things I have control of. My job, the way I choose to spend my time, my schedule, etc. When I'm tempted to feel sorry myself for the loss of my love, I turn the situation on it's head and feel grateful for the time I am now enjoying with friends. And I REALLY am enjoying my time with friends.

The kicker is trying to put a positive spin on the loss of physical affection. I miss the HELL out of kisses and hugs, and falling asleep spooning. Among other things. The only positive I've found so far is to reflect on just how damned good it'll feel once this dry spell is over.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Getting Back to It

Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been two years since my last post, and what a lot has happened. I'll start with the biggest news and telescope down to the smallest. First, a divorce. After 16 years with my husband, fate flung somebody completely unexpected into my path. I had two choices: safe, secure, predictable or stepping into the abyss to ride a comet. I chose the latter. Now, two years later however, the comet has turned into a chilly asteroid and I find myself with almost nothing to concern myself with save my children, my dog, and my job. Not necessarily in that order and not that those aren't important concerns.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, so I decided to sign up with a couple of internet dating sites. Stayed tuned for the success of that adventure, but so far so meh! The interesting thing about setting up a profile on one of these sites is that you realize just what a boring person you really are. "What are your interests?" Hmmm. Well, after I come home from work I look at Facebook, read my email, text a little with a friend, nibble something out of the fridge, have a glass of wine, read my book, and go to bed. Lather, rinse, repeat. Now I'm examining my life, realizing that I've spent much of the last few years riding on the coat tails of OTHER people's interests. The kids, the ex-husband, the boyfriend.

So now begins the period of self-examination. What do I enjoy doing to fill the hours when the boys are with their dad, I'm not at work, and my small group of friends is busy. I've come up with a few things I think I'll launch myself into. Again, stay tuned. The new focus of this blog will be on how this new phase of my life unfolds. This is me breaking a bottle of champagne over the bow of USS I For One.... Wish me luck.