Wednesday, June 04, 2008

An Open Letter to Double Parkers

Dear Lady Who Could Use a Little More Exercise But Instead Double Parks and Lets Her Kids Out In The Middle of the Street -

Could we talk? Here's the thing. We all have things we need to hurry up and do in the morning. We all run a little late occasionally. I get that. But tell me, what gives you the right to block traffic for a full block while your kid rummages around for his Science Fair poster, you all the while simultaneously guzzling a Starbucks, carrying on a conversation on your cell phone, and bitching out your small son in the car seat? Your sweat pants reveal the undeniable. You could use the little bit of exercise that would come with parking a block away, and walking your child to his classroom. And who knows, maybe you could even hang up your phone while you did it. And another thing. Why not stop at Starbucks AFTER you drop your kid off. Finally, when you do double park, can you please look before pulling out to see if somebody finally got sick of waiting for your kid to get out (or get in, as the case often is) and is trying to pass you in the sliver of left-over roadway that your giant SUV left behind? Thanks!

- IFO

2 comments:

cyco said...

Giant SUVs are so yesterday. Two-wheeled transportation is the future! Vroom vroom, pedal pedal.

mr. buckstar said...

Double parking is also a term for having a drink in each hand, so it seems logical these scheisse fur brains would have a latte in one hand and a cellphone in another.