Here's Foam in Your Ear

The last two weeks can only be called "interesting" on the family medical front. It started last Wednesday when Luke woke up sneezing. And sneezing, and sneezing, and sneezing and SNEEZING. Now, if you have a corgi, you well know that for a dog with legs this short and a head this big, sneezing on a hardwood floor can be downright painful for them. After the third or fourth time his poor snout went THWAP against the floor, I was ready for the achoos to stop. When a fine mist of blood covered the toe of my Converse knockoffs I knew if was time for a call to the vet.

Off we went for his appointment at 1:45. Of course by then the sneezing has largely subsided. Dog noses being constructed as they are, and dogs not being very good at staying still, the vet informed me that Luke needed sedation. They needed to scope his nose and flush it out with saline solution because he likely had a foxtail lodged in there. She also suggested that I could save some money and unnecessary risk by having him neutered at the same time. They never did find any foxtail, but that didn't stop them from handing me a $350 invoice when later I picked up my still-sneezing and freshly manscaped dog.

Flash forward to Monday when Garrett clutched at his recently repaired front tooth (he chipped it back in April) in pain after taking a sip of cold water. After giving the teeth the requisite couple of days to change their mind about costing me a bunch more money, I finally called the dentist He recommended that I bring Garrett in so he could evaluate the need for a root canal (gulp). Turns out all the dentist did was to grind the tooth down a little so Garrett couldn't grit it against the lower one while he sleeps. That's right people. My son is a tooth grinder.

Was my day over? Oh hell no.

At 2:2o the phone rang. Some whiff of maternal instinct told me before I even looked at the caller id that I didn't want to get this phone call. On the line was Garrett's school nurse calling to tell me that Garrett had a piece of playground foam lodged in his ear. Let's just all pause a moment and consider that for a moment. How does safety foam from the playground floor get in a kid's ear? Answer: his friend put it there. And yes, removing it required yet another doctor's appointment. Unlike the elusive foxtail, the doctor actually did pull a chunk of foam from Garrett ear. Tomorrow, I plan to wrap my entire family in bubble wrap before sending them out the door.