No, this is not a post about a masked hoochie that rides around the Old West on a white horse named Silver with her trusty side kick Tonto. Instead it is meant to give those women blessed with daughters, living in a lesbian relationship, or otherwise fortunate enough to share their domicile with an estrogen producing being, what it is like to be a lone woman living in a house with all males. It means:
Knowing there is always a puddle of urine somewhere in the vicinity of one of your toilets.
Never being deprived of cleaning up that dish left next to the recliner or sofa.
Not being at all surprised to find three weeks worth of snack wrappers scattered around the computer.
Sighing in resignation as you discover that picking those wrappers up has resulted in the computer keyboard becoming filled with crumbs.
Finding identical piles of snack wrappers around the television and next to the video game console.
Walking by a sock deserted in the hallway and knowing without a shred of doubt that it will stay there until you, yourself bend over and pick it up.
Explaining multiple times that, on the floor and in the laundry basket are not the same place.
The amount of effort required to collect 6 loads of laundry, wash, dry, fold, and place them back in the appropriate drawer apparently requires less energetic outlay than dropping dirty clothes in the laundry basket.
Two sauce pans, a sieve, a measuring cup, a bowl and a spoon are necessary to make and enjoy a simple meal of dehydrated soup mix.
Surviving in a living space in which you are outnumbered by males requires infinite patients, a good sense of humor, and a keen intuition about when to just shut up and deal. All of those talents will leave you when you are deep in the throes of PMS. At that point, the prudent owner of an X and Y chromosome will quietly tip toe around the house giving you lots of extra space. My final observation? There is no such thing as a prudent owner of an X and Y chromosome.
(Steve, Weston and Garrett - I love you guys. And Steve? Thanks for doing the dishes this morning!)
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